


Sleep To Dream

by Brithna



Series: Tidal Project [1]
Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-26 15:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brithna/pseuds/Brithna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on Fiona Apple's album: Tidal<br/>I have taken each song and written a short story based on what I see. Pretty simple. In some of the stories you will not see the actual song mentioned at all. In others you will see it not only mentioned but actual lines from the songs themselves. Each story is to be considered a one-shot although you will see that a few of them relate to one-another in some small way. But seriously—each story stands alone perfectly well and you need not read one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleep To Dream

**Author's Note:**

> This collection was originally posted on LJ and FF.NET on October 31st 2012. 
> 
> Okay, here is how this whole thing got started. On March 8th 2012 (my birthday and also my mother’s—lucky me!) I was leaving a coffee shop where I had just met my mother to exchange birthday gifts. I had a favorite CD of mine on earlier that morning and turned it back on when I left the coffee shop. Not five minutes down the road I was making a turn and out of the blue--song number 8 came on and I saw a scene in my head of Miranda and Andy at her office window (read #8 and you'll see it too). I almost had a wreck because apparently paying attention to the road really is overrated. So—after that, I dropped all of the rest of my plans for the day and headed home with my crazy idea. Instead of writing just that one story based off that one song--why not do them all? So--that's what I did.

Andy read the letter for the fourth time and shoved the laptop away. This could _not_ be happening. How could things have gone this wrong in such a short amount of time? Everything had been going fabulous as far as Andy knew. She and Miranda had been lovers for three glorious months and even though no one knew, they could never go out of doors, and the girls had no clue; everything had been going fabulous, right?

Apparently she was wrong because now, now Miranda wanted to end it all. Via e-mail. How fucking mature. There was no way in hell she was going to get off that easy. Sending an e-mail saying ‘ _I simply cannot carry on with this affair any longer. It has become somewhat of a distraction and I fear that it will do us both more harm than good in the end._ ’ and a bunch of other bullshit.

What the fuck… _distraction_? Really? If you call ripping each other’s clothes off as soon as the door closes, a _distraction_ , then okay. Miranda certainly didn’t seem to think it was a _distraction_ when Andy had her sitting on the kitchen counter screaming for half an hour, but okay. Then there were all those times on the living room floor when Miranda was too busy kissing each and every inch of her to make it to a bed. Okay, that could be classified as a distraction in some small way, but in reverse maybe.

Andy picked up the phone and dialed the number that she knew by heart. Miranda answered on the first ring. How ironic for someone that was ready to toss everything they had – away.

“Good evening, Andrea.”

Her casual tone really made this all so much better. “Miranda what the hell is this? This e-mail?”

“Andrea, I’m sure you know what it says already. You do not need me to repeat myself.”

“No, actually I think I do. What the fuck are you talking about? Distraction? Seriously?”

“Andrea, I will not be an open dictionary tonight. The e-mail says everything I intended it to say.”

“Oh yeah, I can totally see that.”

“Andrea…I cannot be in love with you. I cannot do this anymore. It will never work.”

So, Miranda was in love with her? Well Andy already knew that, she had just never actually _heard_ the words come out of Miranda’s mouth before. Fine time to say them now.

“And why is that Miranda? Why can’t you be in love with me? Why would this never work? You haven’t even tried and you’re already quitting!”

“I’m quitting before this becomes too dangerous.”

“Too dangerous? I can tell you that I’m no danger to you. You might be a danger to me but I have never been a danger to you. Never.”  Andy was ready to pull her hair out.

“On the contrary, you are plenty dangerous…because you dream. You dream of something that we cannot have. I know you do. It’s written all over your face. You want more than I am prepared to give.”

“Oh? When have I ever asked you for more, Miranda? When? Tell me because I sure as hell don’t know.”

“You want a relationship…something lasting. I do not want that. As I said, you dream of far more than is realistic.”

Andy groaned and laid down on the couch. This conversation was likely to kill her. “Miranda yes, yes I dream of more with you but I know I can’t have that right now. Maybe never.  And even though I want more, I have never asked for it. You know that. In fact the only person around here that’s done any asking is YOU! And now, you’re running from the very thing that you asked for.”

There was silence for a brief moment then Miranda cleared her throat. “What exactly are you referring to?”

“I’m referring to the fact that when we were in Paris and I was busy walking away from my job, who stopped me? You did, that’s who. You practically chased me down right there in front of God and everybody! What’s worse, you didn’t want to stop me from quitting my job. You just didn’t want me to quit you! Let’s see, what where the words you used…oh yeah “Andrea, don’t do this. Leave _Runway_ if you must, but do not do _this_. Do not leave me like this. You must know how badly I need you.” Those were your words. And now look. You’re running like a fool because you got what you wanted.”

“Perhaps I was mistaken in Paris…”

“What? _Mistaken_? You know what Miranda? That was probably the worst thing you could have ever said to me!  I hope you have fun hiding from what you want. I hope you can find _comfort_ in the fact that you stopped yourself just in time before you were happy! Go to hell.”

Andy shut her phone and threw it against the wall. Good riddance. She sincerely hoped that it was broken. Miranda thought this whole thing had been a mistake. What was Andy supposed to do about that little piece of news? Especially since that was one of the very first questions Andy had asked her before they began this affair.

Miranda had assured her that it was indeed _not_ a mistake and was something that she wanted very, very much. So why the change of heart? Maybe that was just it. Her heart was invested, or becoming invested and it scared her. Miranda was afraid, so instead of taking a leap of faith, she was willing to just throw it all away.

So be it. What could Andy do? She certainly was _not_ about to jump up and beg Miranda to change her mind. Hell no. And what’s this dream business? Yes, Andy dreamed of more. She was in love with Miranda so _yes_ , for God’s sake she dreamed of more! Who the fuck cared? They were her dreams and she could have them if she wanted to. Last time she checked, Miranda could not dictate what she dreamt about.

A pounding at the door startled her. There was no way to know how much time had gone by and here she was crying for God’s sake. The knocking continued and Andy got up from the couch, wiping her eyes on her shirt sleeve. It was probably her greasy neighbor trying to ask her out again. Gross. Andy ripped the door open prepared to say ‘no’ yet again but was met with Miranda’s face instead of the greasy neighbor. Fuck.

“Miranda…”

Miranda pushed past her and entered the apartment. “You hung up on me.”

“Yes…yes I did.”

“You did not answer your phone when I called you back although I can see why now. It looks as if your phone has met an untimely end.” Miranda pointed to the broken cell phone on the floor.

“Just like you and me.” Andy crossed the living room floor and sat back down on the couch. She was not in the mood to go toe-to-toe with Miranda from a standing position.

“I think I need to explain things better. You did not seem to understand.”

Andy let out a long breath and rolled her eyes. “Oh I understand. You were pretty clear Miranda. When have you ever not been? You can’t do this anymore. You can’t be in love with me. You think this was all a mistake to begin with…blah, blah, blah. I got it.”

“Andrea, it’s just that you have bigger dreams for us and eventually you will not be satisfied.”

“What in the hell is with you and this _dream_ business? You know what I’m starting to think? I’m starting to think it’s _you_ that dreams of something more. I think you’re the one going to sleep every night just so you can dream of a better reality for us…”

“Stop…”

“No! No, Miranda I don’t work for you. It’s not that easy anymore. You can’t shut me up. You can’t stifle me. You can’t control how I feel. I’ll raise as much hell as I want to over this and anything else that comes to mind!”

“I will not sit here and play mind games with you, Andrea.”

“No one is playing a game!” Andy cried out in total frustration. “This is not a game and it never has been. You’re just running now. Hiding from the very thing you want only because you’re afraid of it. Don’t sit here and lie to me, and don’t sit here and plead your case. I don’t want to hear your bullshit. Honestly, I can’t even believe you came over here. It’s almost like you cared! But I know better. You don’t, otherwise you wouldn’t be doing this to me…to us.”

“I am doing this before things get out of hand.”

“Things are already out of hand.” Andy stood up and walked over to the door. “Get out Miranda. Don’t look at me like that. Get out.” Andy opened it and made a sweeping gesture with her hand toward the empty hallway. “Get out, don’t come back and certainly don’t worry about my dreaming _habits_ anymore. I won’t be going to sleep to dream about you. You can rest easy on that fact. And _please_ , do me a favor. Take all the hurt and blame with you. I can’t have it in here with me, that’s for damn sure.”

Miranda walked out as she was told and Andy slammed the door behind her. She leaned against the closed door and prayed for the strength to not chase after Miranda as tears fell. All she wanted to do was open the door and beg Miranda to see what was right in front of her face.

Sleep was certainly a challenge. Andy had spent most of the night pacing the floor and crying. Finally a little past midnight she fell into an exhausted sleep that contained the very dreams she had promised to not have. Hopefully, as time went on, she would learn to do a better job at keeping that promise.

Andy tossed the covers aside and reached for the clock. It was only two so why was she awake? Andy groaned when she heard a pounding at the door. Not again. Her mind immediately went to Doug. It was standard operating procedure that anytime Doug needed a place to crash after a night of partying-he could come to Andy’s. Why she had ever agreed to that she would never know. It seemed like _now_ would be a perfect time to end that arrangement.

Andy stumbled out of bed and slipped on her robe. Doug had better be truly drunk or she was tossing him out into the street. The pounding on the door started again, only louder this time.

“Okay Doug, Christ! I’m coming!” Andy ripped the door open and low and behold, it was Miranda. _Again_. “Oh for the love of God…”

Andy rested a hand on her forehead and turned around. “You have got to be kidding me! Did you not understand me when I said ‘get out and don’t come back’?”

Miranda closed the door and locked it behind her which Andy found odd but was too tired to mention. “Andrea, we need to talk.”

“I’m going to bed.” Miranda would just have to either wait a few hours or come back again since it was clear that she did not know how to listen in the first place. Andy wanted sleep and she was determined to get it. She made her way back to her bedroom and Miranda followed. Great.

Just as Andy got her robe off and was laying back down, Miranda grabbed her by the elbow. “We need to talk.”

Andy jerked away from her “And I need sleep. So I win. This has to be a dream anyway, right? The bad kind, because I promised you I wouldn’t have any of the other ones. Although, I must tell you that I’ve failed already.” Andy slipped into bed and threw the covers over herself.

“This is not a dream.” Miranda sat down on the edge of the bed.

Since it didn’t look like Miranda was going away, Andy sat up against her pillows a little and tried to wake up a bit more. If she was going to be tortured she might as well be properly awake for it. Surprisingly, Miranda handed her the glass of water that was by her bed. Andy started to ask why but Miranda cut her off.

“When you wake in the middle of the night…you always need a drink of water.”

Andy took a drink and handed back to her. Could this hurt any worse? Miranda paid far more attention to her than Andy realized. Why couldn’t Miranda see that she was in love and that it could be the best thing that ever happened to her? “Thank you.”

“Andrea…I don’t expect this to change anything but I want to apologize to you. The e-mail was less than childish…and the reasons behind it were even worse. I just wanted you to know that I never meant to hurt you.”

Andy banged her head back against the headboard. “Fine. That’s fine. Now leave please. Miranda you are killing me, okay? Please, leave me alone so I can figure out how to stop feeling this way. Can you do that?”

“If that is what you wish, then yes, I can do that.”

Wait. Wasn’t that what Miranda wished for? “Miranda, no. That is not what _I_ wish. That’s what _you_ wanted!”

Miranda reached out and put a finger over Andy’s lips. “Shh…yes, that is what I wanted and I am a fool. I suppose a large portion of me will always be a fool. Now…I would like to try something.” She removed her finger and Andy kept silent.

“I would like to try to dream with you. Perhaps the future you see is possible…could be possible, if we both shared the same dream? I am not very good at seeing the future or a good future at the very least. I always see the bad and prepare for it far in advance.”

Andy reached for a tissue and wiped her eyes as her tears fell again. “Yeah, I know. You’re great at preparing. You just prepare for the wrong things. You always have.”

Miranda took the tissue away from her and continued to wipe her eyes. “I quite agree. Andrea, can you forgive me?”

“Should I _want_ to forgive you?” Good question. Should she forgive Miranda? Who’s to say that this very thing wouldn’t happen tomorrow, or the next day?

“Darling, I cannot answer that. All I can say is that I apologize and that I would like it very much if we could start over.”

Before Andy could protest Miranda leaned in and kissed her gently. Andy returned the kiss but pulled back. There was one thing she needed to know. “Miranda…are you in love me? I need to know the answer to that question. I think you are. I think that whole ‘I cannot be in love with you’ statement is total bullshit. Are you in love with me?”

Miranda looked down at the floor for a moment then looked intently into Andy’s eyes. “Yes. I am in love with you. I would not have chased after you in Paris if I was not in love with you, Andrea.” Miranda looked down at the floor again almost as if she was embarrassed.

Andy reached out and turned her head back toward her. “Since then?”

Miranda kissed her open palm. “Since before then. That doesn’t change the fact that I am still a fool. In many ways.”

“I love you, Miranda. Next time you’re afraid of something can you just talk to me…like _really_ talk to me? Because, I can’t do this with you again. I can’t…”

“I think I can do that. I love you, Andrea.” Miranda leaned toward her and gathered her up in her arms. “I love you so much.”

Andy wrapped her arms around Miranda’s neck and took a deep breath. “Please stay with me tonight. I want to dream with you beside me.”

Miranda brushed her hair back and kissed her temple. “I would like that. Maybe you can show me what you see?”

“I will. I will show you every dream I have for us. You will see how good this can be. I promise.”

 

THE END

 


End file.
